So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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