But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
