question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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