I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
