i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Even my vagina gasped.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
