Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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