Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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