you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
