Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
