I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
