you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
