my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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