I got her a Nickelback box set.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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