But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
