I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
