and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
nutella sex= disaster
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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