Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
