Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
