so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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