Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
