Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize