dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
