You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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