the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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