Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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