My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
