Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
