Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
