Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
