u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
