nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize