i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
