I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
