is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How does one acquire holy water?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
