...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
