If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
