somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
