I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
