no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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