do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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