I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
