Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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