Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
