I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
