Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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