This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
