Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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