You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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