The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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