which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize