My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
