im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
