I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
