i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she smelled like a LAN party
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
