So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
