Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
