Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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