For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
