tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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