If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
