I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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