yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
