Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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