And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
