I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
