do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
