I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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