im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize