the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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