Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
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You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
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The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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