and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
